On Quiet Quitting Social Media
What I’m thinking, how I’m doing it, and some additional reading.
I am quiet quitting social media.
It seems counterintuitive to discuss how I am quiet quitting, and on social media, no less!!! However, I don’t think I’m the only one feeling this way right now. So I thought I would share my thought process and the things I’m going to be doing moving forward. Plus, a bunch of books that I’ve read lately that have influenced this decision.
I’ve said this more than once, but I’ve reached my limit with the lack of nuance in almost every conversation online. The debate around the Titan submersible was just the last straw for me.
But that’s not even a fraction of my recent discontent.
I’m gonna be mad about Reddit for a while. I’m not surprised by their lack of accessibility or blatant corporatism, just disappointed.
I’m tired of the next election cycle, and it’s over a year away. However, the odds of being able to vote for a candidate that I actually like are already slim.
And frankly, I can’t listen to one more hot take that’s not an actual hot take.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what creating short-form media looks like for me, personally.
The Neurodiversity Media Network publishes an incredible amount of content, some of which is even short-form, but which largely benefits my collaborators and co-hosts. They get a great deal of material to choose from when it comes to creating more content for themselves, and that was by design. It was deliberately structured so that part of what you’re getting with your masterclass creation is the ability to use and reuse your content. I want you to be able to create a common dialogue with your people, and I just want to be a part of that.
When it comes to my own short-form content, however, there are far fewer nuggets, which is not to say there’s nothing there. But my job is to moderate the conversation, so I ask a lot of questions and nod my head a lot. Truly, on the days that I record more than one podcast, my neck gets sore from all the nodding.
But the other part is that I don’t want to create things that aren’t fundamentally valuable.
And honestly, when I look at so much short-form content, it lacks value.
I’m not saying this is universally true. But for me, it lacks meaning.
It’s one of the reasons I’ve always loved memes — it’s meant to start a conversation. It’s an image that speaks a thousand words.
But they aren’t meant to be the conversation. And what little there is has been harder and harder to find lately.
As I move forward with the content that I am trying to create, what I’ve come to realize is that it’s not worth it to me if it doesn’t have value to someone else. It’s not worth it if no one benefits.
I’m done just screaming out into the void.
I am no longer participating in the commodification of my content, my ideas, my stories, or my relationships with other people into something that is more palatable for social media. I’m not doing it.
There’s nothing to be gained by this.
You know, except for the part where I run a largely internet-based business that requires the participation of my (rather sizable) audience, everything is fine. 🤪
One of the beautiful things about the way that I have curated my audience is that it’s incredibly diversified. A little bit here, a little over there, with a lot of effort directed at getting people to my mailing list over the years.
Now, that means that if I lose people in this process, it’s only a fraction of my total audience.
It also allows me to figure out how to build new things, because I’m not invested in any one platform.
However!!!
I didn’t say I was quitting.
I said I was quiet quitting.
Except for Reddit. I’m totally quitting Reddit, because I’m not giving them another penny to extract from me.
It does mean fewer memes, although they won’t be going away entirely either. They’ll just be scheduled when I have them now (which will be less frequently, because of Reddit).
I’ve quit social media before.
It’s harder than people want to acknowledge.
There’s an actual withdrawal phase.
So in order to best facilitate this process, there needs to be an actual support plan.
The truth is, I spend a pretty significant chunk of time on social media, especially in the morning. And like any addiction, there needs to be a pattern interrupt and viable replacement activities, or relapse is likely. I used to be much better about my mornings until my 12yo acquired my sleep phone for his own nefarious purposes. 😂
But it’s not enough to remove the apps from my phone. I also need to replace the action.
That’s why I’m here writing this piece before the sun is even up. I haven’t fully replaced the habit of using social media, and if I don’t do something, I’ll end up redownloading Facebook, and this experiment will be over in less than a day.
My brain desperately craves my dopamine fix. I have been moving from app to app, like a moth on crack, just looking for the lights, man.
I haven’t even cut myself off from content either, just limited the type.
The rest of making this work is about curating what Tara McMullin calls my media ecosystem.
And, as you might have guessed, I’m choosing longform. Books, podcasts, Substack, and my old friend, the RSS reader. (I’ll write about the tech in another post. I’m gonna be honest, it’s pretty sexy.)
I am rededicating myself to my own writing. I’m cultivating Medium and Substack for publication. I’ve built some adorable templates and frameworks that capitalize on all the content I’m already consuming, and allow me to refine my capture process at the same time.
I built more journal prompts into my daily journal in Notion, and I’m looking forward to trying them. Plus I’m integrating a daily prompt from my friend
, and really mindfully adding in some spiritual components with some astrological and tarot practices.
I resurfaced some of my favorite handicrafts, so I have something to reach for when my phone is boring. Which it will be now.
There are plans for some exercise even, but I’m not gonna beat myself up if that doesn’t happen.
I am figuring out the ways in which I can automate the rest of my social media, with perhaps the exception of the occasional sales post. If I am a commodity, then my response is to remove myself as an object to sell, and to focus instead on how I can benefit from that network.
I’ve installed a feed eradication tool in my browser, so I can still post, but without the distraction.
I repurposed an old phone into a social media phone, specifically for the activities that can only happen on mobile. It’s tiny, and hard to use, and that’s the whole point.
And I’m not gonna lie, y’all.
I’m feeling pretty complete with this whole plan.
I’m not leaving social media, just reassessing my relationship with it.
The truth is, I am done with what is happening in and around the social sphere in which I have invested so much of my life. I’m not interested. It has no bearing on my life whatsoever, and I’m not playing the game anymore.
I’m taking my ball and moving to spaces where thought, depth, and nuance are not just encouraged but embraced.
I hope you join me in this act of revolution.
I hope you too can figure out how to stop participating in a marketplace that doesn’t actually reward you for your participation.
And I think the more of us who consciously look at this, the better off we’ll be.
Bonus Reads:
I’ve read a lot of books to get me to this place, but here are a few that have really made me critically examine my time, and especially my time on social media.
One of the things I hope to be doing more of is writing book reviews. We’ll see. (Affiliate links.)
All The Gold Stars by Rainesford Stauffer: This book is a pretty intimate look at ambition, and what we’re actually all striving for. And listen, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t interested in making a shitload of money. But my motivation for doing that continues to be less about me, and more about playing…
The Infinite Game by Simon Sinek: Usually I think Simon’s work is better consumed as a TED Talk, but this one is worth the read. My legacy isn’t just about me, and it’s not about generational wealth, either. It’s about building things that can outlive me. I find that very inspirational.
So how do we get there? Well…
How To Do Nothing by Jenny Odell: You do less. A lot less. We build things of substance when we commit to doing less.
Rest Is Resistance by Tricia Hersey: And we take naps. Because taking care of ourselves is the highest form of resistance you can muster.
Finally, I want you to consider what it is you’re actually getting from social media.
Hey, Hun by Emily Lynn Paulson: Listen, this book is about MLMs, but it’s also about hustle culture, capitalism, and white supremacy. And if you’ve ever been in the online business space, then some of this WILL look familiar. I want you to sit with that for a while.
I certainly have been.
